Life experiences · Uncategorized · Writer

Marketing Blues

I created a FaceBook page for my book.                                                                                             I set up an author’s website.                                                                                                                  I made a YouTube video.                                                                                                                       I became a Twit on Twitter. And I’m still having a difficult time of reaching my target audience–teen girls.

Writing a book is easy. Marketing and selling the book is the hard part. How frustrating it is to have a valuable tool for teen girls (and their mothers) but not be able to get that tool into their hands.

I have the marketing blues 😦The_Total_Deconstruc_Cover_for_Kindle








Life experiences · Writer

The First Time I Saw My Dad Cry

Since Father’s Day is celebrated in June, I thought this would be a great time to re-post this blog. My father is my hero. A man of integrity and honesty. He is a man who believes in the value of work and responsibility. He is funny and fun. And I love him and respect him more than he could ever know. IMG_1753

There have been only two times that I witnessed my father break down and cry. The latter transpired as he spoke at his father’s funeral service. The first time happened while he read a book to my siblings and I. The book was Stone Fox by John Reynolds Gardiner.
I still remember my dad’s quavering tone as the protagonist, Little Willy, picked up his dead dog, Searchlight, and carried her across the finish line. Consumed in emotion, Dad became too choked up to continue. The powerful ending swallowed my entire family in loud sobs. It was at that moment that I realized books were magical. If a story could make the strongest man I knew cry, there was no limit to what a good book could do. Reading has been an integral part of my life ever since that defining moment.

Thanks, Dad, for being man enough to cry and for introducing me to the wonderful world of books.
If you have a child, I would highly recommend Stone Fox.


Life experiences · Self-esteem · Teen Pregnancy

The Deconstruction of Chloe Wilson Begins


“Reality smacked me in the face. It dawned on me that all my choices, my sick need for attention and to be liked by boys, the lies, and trying to be someone I wasn’t, had all been slowly and painstakingly crafting me, molding me into an entirely new person—and the amazing thing was, I was the master artist (or con-artist)— the creator of that new me.

The end result was an even more insecure, fake girl, with no self-esteem and very few friends. Looking in the mirror, I realized the girl who stared back was someone I didn’t recognize. I had completely and utterly lost my identity. The worst part of all—I had supervised my own deconstruction.”


Follow me on Twitter @TheTotalDCofCW

Find my book on Amazon!

Life experiences · Teen Pregnancy · Writer

I Am A Published Author!

After six months of starting the self publishing process, I pushed the button to accept my cover and manuscript for publication.The_Total_Deconstruc_Cover_for_Kindle
The Total Deconstruction of Chloe Wilson is a straight-forward memoir about my teen pregnancy. The book is a great resource for teen girls, counselors, and parents of teen girls. I wrote this book to help teenage girls who suffer with low self-esteem to choose their youth  and learn to be happy with who they are. I needed a boyfriend to feel good about myself. That mindset led to my eventual deconstruction and teen pregnancy. Topics addressed in the book include self-esteem, date rape, suicide, and teen pregnancy.  Statistics and consequences of teen pregnancy are provided with a clear view of the risks involved for the mother and child.

I would encourage all teen girls, especially those at-risk, to read this book.

“My legs traded off, jiggling to my high level of anxiety.

I shifted in my chair–comfort eluded me.

On one side, the school nurse.

on the other sat Sarah. She looked eerily calm.

The attending nurse walked into the waiting room with the results tucked in her hand. I jumped  out of my seat. Only a few feet away stood this woman in a smiley-face smock and she was holding my future…

‘I have good news,’ she said, ‘and bad news.’ She looked at my friend. ‘Sarah, you are not pregnant.’ Then, turning to me, she delivered the verdict without leniency.

‘Chloe, you definitely are.'” Excerpt from The Total Deconstruction of Chloe Wilson

“2000 teen girls in the US get pregnant every day.”

The link to my book on

Life experiences

I Miss You

In dark and lonely spaces, I miss your innocence.

Mother Holding Child's Hand

When somberness wraps around, I miss your merriment.

If only responsibility could be replaced with uninhibited fun.

Girl Swinging on Tire

Maybe I wouldn’t miss you so much, the child that I once was.

The wrinkles and gray hairs multiply each day; Reflected in my image–I’m afraid they’re here to stay.

Sometimes I see you in passing, in glimpses of days long gone.

How I wish I had embraced you and enjoyed the childhood song.

I watch you in the shadows, longing to be free.

Come out from what is acceptable, and dance and play with me.


Life experiences · Teen Pregnancy

Patience is…

Growing up in a large, religious family, patience was a common topic.  Born the fifth of nine children, I learned to wait my turn to use the telephone, shower, and go to the bathroom. My parents taught that patience truly was a virtue, and good things come to those who wait. They also used the word endure a lot.

While my personality was quiet and I seemed like the obedient type, I hated both those words.  Patience equaled going without, endure meant to suffer. I didn’t plan on doing either one. Instant gratification on the road of least resistance lured me into a world of lying and deceit. And without a second thought I ran over anyone who got in my way. Friends who didn’t propel me into my idea of popularity were trampled under. My values, beliefs, morals…they only dragged me down and kept me from having fun, so I cut them loose too.

And that’s how I came to be a scared fifteen-year-old girl, standing in front of my mother with head lowered–my shame so heavy I couldn’t bear to look her in the eyes.

“Mom, I’m pregnant.”

I was in such a hurry to grow up that I got exactly what I wanted. So what did I learn about patience? I’ll agree that it is a virtue, but I like another definition better. In the words of a wise 92-year-old woman,

“Patience is…a virgin!”

Life experiences · Writer

Desert Rain

Dark clouds huddled in tight formation. A loud clap of thunder rocked the sky. Perched on the peak of a two-story roof, a robin chirped and dove into an evergreen shrub. A collared lizard scurried under a flat slab of sandstone. Red ants lined up and marched into their hill, the last one hauling a pebble just big enough to plug the hole. Ahead of the impending storm, the scent of rain traveled on the light eastward breeze.

A brilliant flash of lightning split the sky above flat mountains of the Book Cliffs. Thunder boomed and rolled from the Colorado National Monument towards the Mesa. All at once the sky fell in a heavy downpour.    20130731-210319.jpg

Streams swelled, drain ditches overflowed, puddles formed in low lying areas. Rain had finally smiled upon the desert region of western Colorado.

While animals scampered for shelter, I stood on my porch and observed nature’s symphony and art show. Cold horizontal drops pelted my face. Pine pitch mixed with the scent of rain. I closed my eyes and pretended to be high in the mountains, standing over a clear lake in the middle of tall spruce and aspens. Thunder crashed again. What a beautiful sound. I stepped into the storm and bathed myself in delicious drops.

Within thirty minutes, blue sky parted ominous clouds and sun rays burst upon heated asphalt. Steam rose and humidity spread its wings and soared. Shiny sidewalks and streets evaporated to their former dull state. A single puddle in the road held up a sign, “Rain was here.” Up the street, a large SUV clambered toward the puddle and threatened extinction. Before the vehicle stole my sunshine, I walked into the middle of the road…and jumped.